maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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