There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
