Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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