Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
