She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
