I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize