Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
