oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
