Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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