He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm passing your future prison.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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