made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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