She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
