i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
