my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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