just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
