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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't deserve a penis
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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