YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
