Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
