If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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