Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
