why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
