Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
