New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
