Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
