You smell like a Billy Joel song
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
