yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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