What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
