Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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