well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
