I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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