i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
