Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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