And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
