What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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