I love black thongs
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
