The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize