he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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