i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
