dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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