My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
