I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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