i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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