Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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