I got chris browned last night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
