you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
