Can i not drive my cunt home
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
