I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
