you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize