You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize