I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
