That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
