I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
