I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
