Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
