Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
