Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
