I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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