is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
