Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
