Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
