Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Oh god it's open bar.
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