I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She announced her abortion via fbk
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
