I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
