i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
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Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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