i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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