When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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