WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
